Friday, December 29, 2006

Land of sunshine (...and fortune is smiling upon you)


Apologies for the long gap (I know. I shouldn't have to apologize, but I feel I owe it all my readers, both of you) I am currently in South Africa for the holidays, Ballito more specifically. Home to the sublime AJ Venter. Also over the last two weeks, home to many, many Lions, and Cheetahs supporters. They certainly know how to represent their unions. Speedo's covered by a cheetahs jersey (thank fuck) double brandy and coke in one hand, cigarette in the other. They are quite a sight. They come in two flavours, standard and extra crispy (the ones who managed to pass out next to the pool.) Although to be fair after living in New Zealand for the last 5 years, or more aptly the land of the long white fuckall sunshine. I got me some serious sunburn too.


I have no sports to talk about, all I've done so far is drink and perv.
P.S. the picture above is meant to explain two things, cheetahs fans in general, and the color of my skin after I passed out next to the pool with a double brandy and coke in one hand and a cigarette in the other. ( hypocrite? you betcha!)

Posted by CounterRuck @ 11:08 PM :: (0) comments

Monday, December 18, 2006

2007 Super 14 preview (A.K.A shit that probably wont happen)


To me the super 14 season is allot like sex, I start off all excited and nervous and go in with the best of intentions. Half way through I get terribly concerned over my guys' performance, and in the end it's over before it should be, and I'm left alone and miserable having learnt new sad things about myself. But this year will be different.

First I'd like to look at the South African teams, surprise. On paper we have some of the greatest teams in the tournament, stop laughing, I'm serious. The Bulls have the kind of game plan where they win games using only 2 props a hooker, one flank, one number 8 and a Flyhalf. The other guys just dance around doing fuckall, consequently they don't actually know what to do with the ball when they do see it.

The Cheetahs are the ultimate Hollywood underdog team. A team of rag tag nobodies, lead by an inspirational leader, with a young coach up against the odds. All held together by nothing more than pure heart. They will go through the season being tested at every turn which will only bring them closer together, and show everyone who doubted them that blah blah blah... then they get stuffed by the Crusaders. draw curtain
The stormers are a bunch of overpaid prettyboys, and I used to love them above all. Facts however speak for themselves. If they can bring what they had in the curry cup with them, then we may see a different team. Until then I remain sceptical and somewhat amused, and a little hungry.

The Lions, the poor Lions. They remind me of that kid in High School who broke his leg, while getting stung by a bee, in the process of picking up his books, that fell out of his bag as he was getting molested by a donkey.(Thats a true story by the way, you know who you are.) They just cannot catch a break. I can't help but feel that in a previous life the Lions brunt down a kindergarten and Karma is fucking them in the ass.

Then there are the Sharks. I honestly believe we have found our first real contender to a super14 title. They have a solid front row (nothing more, nothing less). The have, not one, not two but THREE quality flyhalves. The Bob is back. AJ Venter is still the hardest thing under the African sun. And yet even without all of that, they have the wunderkind Francois Steyn. If he does not turn out to be the greatest rugby player since Willie John mcBride then I will eat my copy of EA Sports Rugby 2006, (turns out I still have some room left after making a similar bet involving EA Sports Rugby 2005 and Jorrie Muller, bastard)

I'll get to the Kiwi and Aus teams later. but i think we can all agree that Bikini Bullriding is the greatest sport of all time (Wait, where was i going with this....?)

Posted by CounterRuck @ 7:03 PM :: (0) comments

Bobby's Back! (and you're gonna be in touble?)



As I'm sure you all know by now Bob Skinstad will be joining The Sharks franchise in next years Super 14. I love the Sharks, that being said that's not the only reason I'm excited

I am also incredibly excited about the return of mister
Skinstad in general, and here's why. You know who I always admired as a sportsman? Gary Player. Here's a man who was at the top of his game, smart, eloquent, and from what I understand from my grandmother, made all the ladies a little crazy when he was young. And yes, I feel just as weird saying that as you feel hearing it. What we lack in South African sport lately is ambassadors, The kind of guys you actually look forward to hearing interviews with, Not the guy who repeats the same cliche in every. fucking. interview. Assuming he gets the words out at all.

That's where I think
Skinstad comes in. I've heard his commentary and game analysis in the UK, he's very entertaining. (By the way Bob, you're "with me leather" comment was not lost me, excellent little piece of social satire there.") And he's the kind of guy that can get hot chicks to go to the rugby who ordinarily wouldn't, and that, my friend, is the greatest gift of all

Posted by CounterRuck @ 11:57 AM :: (0) comments

Sunday, December 17, 2006

The off season (...and other fairytales.)



The Holiday season brings a time of reflection for most South African sports fans, Other than the current India cricket tour (which lets face it, is as exciting as an infomercial) there's not a lot to do but think, and reminisce on the year past...... you're right, that is too painful, so lets look at something else. How much is the Super 14 becoming like the NFL enterprise in the U.S.

In it's infancy the Super 10 was nothing more than a hand full of provincial teams from SA, NZ and Aus playing each other. It wasn't really seen as a world class tournament. Now we have regional franchises with brand recognition, inter-franchise player trading, clever logos, cheerleaders, corporate sponsorships, the similarities are endless. I think it's time we stole a few more ideas from them.
Halftime shows!! How about that? It's Half time at the Super 14 Final (We can call it the SuperCup) we're at Absa Stadium, the Sharks are leading the Blues 14 to 12, and as the teams come off, 2 dozen cheerleaders come running onto the field followed by an elaborately designed float with the Rolling Stones playing "Start me up". Okay so we might have to settle for Zola, but you get the Idea.
And what about creating some NFL style Mega-Stars. Sure we have Big Joe, Schalkie and Habanna, but let's put our franchise marketing guru's on the job and Make them as loved by the public as LaDanian Tomlinson, Tom Brady and Tough 'ol Brett Favre are to the yanks. (Yes realise you may not know who they are, but trust me the Yanks love them more than Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny combined)

And Last but not least, Lets get some entertaining fucking commentators. Don't get me wrong I like Naas, he does have some personality, makes a few good cracks and has a solid analysis of the game, but the rest of them? are you kidding me, Ettiene Fynn? he played what? 2 games 10 years ago and now he's a sports celebrity?

Just a little bit of style, that's all I ask.

Posted by CounterRuck @ 10:32 PM :: (0) comments

First Post. (here's to a long line of inventive titles)


There are many reasons why people wake up one day and say: "you know what, I think I'll start a blog." Some feel they are chosen as moral and intellectual crusaders providing a voice for those that have none, Idealists that want to fight oppression and misinformation with a powerful, accessible tool. Others are just so damn annoying, that if they talk to other people they get punched, hard, in the crotch. I am the latter, and you can't reach my crotch from there, so screw you.

I chose sports as my main topic, because I like sports, and before you venomous critics start hassling me, Yes my blog will be similar to those untouchable oracles of truth such as WithLeather, Deadspin, and the hilarious kissing Suzy Kolber, in fact sometimes they will be exactly like that, as much so as the law allows. One difference is that my blog will focus mainly on South African sports, and personalities (Yes I see the irony there). I will also sometimes make fun of teams, players, coaches, (Ehrm... other South African Sports bloggers) Because I think someone has to.

So here's to the wonderful world of anonymous verbal attack. God bless freedom.

Posted by CounterRuck @ 8:35 PM :: (1) comments